Time after time men / non-menstruators tell me:
- They’re not really interested in the conversation about menstruation
- Culturally they’ve been taught they’re not wanted in the menstrual cycle conversation
- They don’t know how to support their partner throughout the cycle (and wish they knew)
- They are frustrated that their needs are not met throughout the cycling month
Time after time woman / menstruators tell me:
- I would love my partner to gain a deeper understanding of my cycle so we could meet each other’s needs better.
- I feel sorry for my partner when I experience menstrual cycle lows and they are impacted so much.
- I wish I could describe the cycle to my man in a way that would make sense to him.
Men have an embodied cycle experience
The daily circadian cycle is experienced by every living thing – the ebb and flow of energy over 24 hours. Most of us can relate to how jet lag, night shifts, or sleep deprivation impact our moods and our muscles when we go against the natural flow of our bodies. The menstrual rhythm is no different. If lifestyle does not accommodate or allow for it there can be negative connotations for the health of the menstruator, both psychologically and physically. Just as night shifts have been shown to be bad for all our health in the long run.
Menstrual Cycle Workshops for Men…
- How the cycle works using a logical model that applies to all menstruators; the energy dynamics and inner seasons model.
- The key flavours of the menstrual inner seasons
- Meeting of needs / getting our needs met though the cycle with focus on observation, communication, acceptance and empathy.
- Q&A / discussion
Depending on whether I was on a ‘high’ point or a ‘low’ point of my cycle, the dynamics of the relationship between my partner and I were inevitably affected (not good or bad, just affected).
It wasn’t until I started working with my cycle that I was able to voice, understand and accept these changes, and change my behaviour towards the people around me. My incredible and open-minded partner listened to me and understood.
Now my fabulous man is a true pioneer, a ‘menstrual expert’. Sometimes I over-hear him explaining menstrual cycle dynamics to both men and women that we meet. And sometimes he notices what’s going on in my cycle before I do… Both of these make me happier than you could imagine! He has 100 percent belief in what I am trying to do. Creating change based on equality; on this knowledge being accessible to everyone.
The main part of my work speaks to women / people who menstruate, encouraging them to come to terms with their own unique cycle. It is really important that this whole cycle awareness pattern doesn’t become another structure inside of which women have to fit. There’s enough shame and dis-empowerment / taboo around the world just for having a period without feeling we’re doing it wrong.
However if non-menstruators can understand the menstrual cycle / place it in a position of respect and regard and take note of it, I believe we can inspire healthy social change.